A Small Deceit

What’s the harm in such a small deceit

After all I’m just being discreet

You know it’s just a small white lie

And the only reason for my alibi

I only did it to avoid your ragging

Because I knew that you’d be nagging

 

I know you think this how it begins

The first step toward a bigger sin

From half-truths to full lies

Hard so see thru smoky eyes

You know it’s all I’d keep from you

The things I’ve done before are thru

Selfish

Do you ever think of yourself as selfish?  Chances are that if you don't have kids you may not yet realize the extent of your selfishness. I for one am the exception....ha.  I would like to be able to say that without being a liar.  The truth is that I am extremely selfish.  I miss being able to sleep in, or hell just being able to sleep at all without being woken up every two hours by the hunger cries of a one month old. (Not that I wouldn't gladly do anything for that beautiful little girl.....just saying) I get jealous of the people that get to go out and do things. I wish we had the stereo typical parents who always wanted to watch and babysit the grand kids.  I wish I didnt sometimes get jealous of my kids and the closeness they have with my wife; although so greatful that they have a mother that loves them so much I still at times long for the closeness my wife and I used to share with each other.  We used to share everything with one another......now it's more like we share everything about our kids but that seems to be the extent of it anymore.  I know all of this sounds awfully selfish, it is! That's my point.  It's a part of me that I had never really noticed until I had kids, but then again I did pretty much what ever I wanted back then.  I guess you don't really notice your selfish tendencies until you find something worth give them up for.  The thoughts or more so the feelings that drive that selfishness are still present but there is something more important that is out weighing  that internal drive.  Even though that goes on, I know I am still selfish.  I want more than I receive from friends, my job, my family.  I want more emotion and passion from my wife than I know she can give.  I want my kids to grow and do things that they aren't quite ready for (their just kids, I was way worse). I want God to fix things in my life but more often than not I don't follow what he calls me to do.  SELFISH!!!   We all are. We're just born that way.  As selfish as I am, and knowing that, I still get angry at the selfishness of others.  I am what I dislike in others. I am me, more me than I would like at times.

       
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4)

 He must increase, but I must decrease. (John 3:30)

Waiting and wanting

There is a lust, a passion a must

that's missing from my life

a desire of my wife

I want, I need

your eyes full of fire

you with a desire

wanting and needing

and pulling me in

a mutual embrace

and passion in place

you wanting, me wanting

gripping and grabbing

not convince and give in

you laying, me doing

so quickly we're thru with

So for now it's me waiting

for you to be wanting

something with feeling

something with meaning

So for now it's me waiting

So for now it's me waiting

 

zzz

"Sleep" is not a four letter word, but yet hold your tongue when speaking such things in the presents of the zombified.  Those who have those weary, dreary, blood shot eyes.  Those with the  drooping head and the distant gaze.  Those incoherent  mumbling fools.  You know the ones!?  The ones who used to be so articulate, intelligent, elegant, and funny.  The ones who seem to have lost their edge.  The ones who have one foot off the ledge.  Those lost somewhere between insomnia and narcolepsy.  They hear your words and nod along but its clear there's no one there.  Don't mention your night, or your rest, or napping;  and what every you do never say you're "tired too".  For  those zombies; with the weary, dreary, blood shot eyes;  are at the verge and just like that...BOOM!...they'll SNAP!  It's not their fault you've been forewarned.

"Hello new baby......good bye to sl**p...zzz

And the days did pass on by

Passion & Lust

Happiness & Trust

and the days did pass on by

Rings & Bells

Kisses & Veils

and the days did pass on by

Babies & Smiles

Laundry & Piles

and the days did pass on by

Passion & Lust

Pain & Disgust

and the days did pass on by

Talking & Saying

Thinking & Praying

and the days did pass on by

Loving & Living

Staying & Forgiving

and the days did pass on by

Clear & Hazy 

Beautiful & Crazy

Marriage & Life

of a

Husband & Wife