Mae

    Butterflies, and longing, and desire, and joy, and contentment, a want, a need, completely consuming thoughts for another.  Just a bunch of neurons firing off in my brain that sends signals to release oxytocin.  Such a simple explanation for an almost indescribable feeling that we get around a few select people in our lives, a simple thought, a smell, a single word tied to a memory is all that's needed to release the flood gates of feeling that are stored up in my subconscious.
    Its funny how in life we sometimes meet people that we instantly feel connected to.  Is it something in the eyes or is that just like looking thru an open window into their soul...are we truly capable of seeing deeper than we think we can.  I'm almost too jaded with life to believe in love at first sight, instant infatuation maybe...whatever you call it when someone you've never met before causes your very essence to vibrate, you may not know them yet but you have a burning desire for everything that is them.  Its not a feeling I'm accustomed to,  now we've all had times were we've had a physical desire for someone, that's not what I mean....but when you feel longing for the other parts of them so much more,  what does it mean?  Can we somehow sense the true goodness in others and that is what is drawing me in so hard?  Is it that I sense a comforters soul and subconsciously I am seeking a comforter?  I don't know the answer, all I know is I want her.  I want her body. I want her mind. I want her heart.  I want to be there to see her every smile.  I want to be there when shes sad or sick. I want to share all my joy with her.  When I see something funny I want to share it with her first.  I wanna hold her hand at church.  I wanna kiss her in the mornings when I wake after seeing her in my dreams.
    I don't know what my future holds, but I hope in my future I'm holding her.....    

"Delight yourself also in the LORD, and he shall give the desires of your heart."  -Psalms 37:4