New Decade...Same Me....

So...it's been quite some time since the last time I sat down to write, ramble, or spewed out nonsense veiled as self inspiring nuggets of truth.  I'm not even sure I know how to tap into the raging river of thoughts that cross through my mind any more.  There has always been a furry of activity in my mind,  a constant hum of different thoughts on reoccurring loops...."your brain is currently streaming on multiple device, would you like to stream on this device instead?" (in Alexa's voice)…. Have you ever had too many apps/programs open on your computer at once, its kind of like that.  There's the grocery list, the bill pay notification, the reminder that you have a dentist appointment, a video of a kitten chasing a dog, building a virtual ship over here, thinking about that one time on the beach in Mexico,  Is today Tuesday or Wednesday,  where the fuck is that music coming from???
This raging river can not be stopped, can not be contained, nothing can stand in its way...the only hope for my sanity is the same as its always been....Steer....to steer or divert this rushing non-stop consciousness to the thoughts that bring peace or at the very least understanding.  Not always as easy as it sounds, to try to turn the tide when you mind goes to that dark place...to that sad memory...to the thought of that loved one whos long been gone.  Some time I can focus on a Positive thought and change the coarse, some time it's a future achievement, some times its a simple truth that is strong enough to veer me from the roaring rapids of thoughts and emotions....a simple truth that leads me to calmer waters.  That simple truth is that no matter how turbulent my mind, my emotions, my life....no matter what....God is in control, not me.....this simple truth has the ability to stop the flood of thoughts, fears, doubts at times, others times it lets the waters rage on and like a life jacket it wraps me up and lets me know that I am going to make it.  You see God doesn't always fix our problems, our struggles, he loves us too much to NOT let us suffer at times...…….

  To suffer is to grow

"But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle (you)."    -1 Peter 5:10