The roller coaster continues, I'm in a good place again this week. I feel like I'm getting stronger and in more control of my thoughts and emotions lately. Progress...but isn't that what life is? Having a goal in life that is achievable is great, but what then....once achieved a new goal must be found. However it seems to me that having a goal that never truly has the milestone of true attainability has more power in that the joy is found in the progress and meaning is found in the progress and that those things are not lost once the goal is achieved as there is no true milestone that marks the end of that journey. When our goals have an end and are finite our meaning and joy can come to an end and we must seek a new goal the achieve, a new box to check, a new "if I do this I will be happy". If I get married I'll be happy, if I have kids I'll be happy, If I get back out there and find someone new I'll be happy. The true seems to me that happiness is found in the journey and not in the destination. I want to be content on my journey and not have to worry about getting to a destination only to have the let down that it's not what I was expecting it to be, that its not the magic fruit that is the key to happiness that I thought it was. Instead I feel I need to ground myself in goal that can only be measured by progress, not so much measured daily as a if set backs count as a failed day, but rather progress that is measured over time on a linear graph with ups and downs but that trends upwards over time. I want to have goal like: Be more Christ like, be more helpful and giving to others, be more loving to my kids, show more compassion to strangers, live more carefree, worry less and be more restful in the fact that I am not in control. None of these goals are attainable in the sense that there is no finish line, no ultimate victory. None the less, they are infinitely more fulfilling. Therefore I believe that joy and meaning are not a product of achievement but rather attained through progress.
1Timothy 4:15
Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress.
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